|Posted on August 29, 2016 at 2:00 PM||comments (3)|
For those who are weary of or struggle with some of some aspects of organized religion, this book provides a welcome refreshing view of God and God's presence in our lives and our world.
|Posted on January 25, 2016 at 1:05 PM||comments (0)|
Who was that person? He looked like me. He talked like me. But I don't think I know him anymore.
Who was that person? He had so many friends. He was popular at cocktail parties and told good jokes. Today, he seeks out one person he can really talk to and that is enough. His telephone Rolodex is a lot smaller, but so much more important.
Who was that person? He had such different priorities. He skated over life, like an ice skater on a frozen pond. He never thought about how cold the water was. Now he has a totally new perspective on the world. He reaches out to people who hurt because he knows how they feel. He has been there. He has felt the ice water.
Who was that person? He had an orderly chronological sense of time. Now the world is divided forever into simply “before” and “after”.
Who was that person? He used to rush through dinner or cut the family vacation short to get back to the office. Now he thinks back to the family times as the most wonderful times of his life. He knows what is irreplaceable.
Who was that person? He used to worry about so many imaginary troubles, most of which never happened anyway. Now he spends most of his time in the present. He appreciates today’s sunset, daisies, simple things and good friends. He knows how precious each moment is.
Who was that person? He used to think about what he wanted to get out of life. Now he thinks about how grateful he is for the gifts he has had.
Who was that person? He used to measure his goals in terms of where he is going. Now he focuses more on what his life will have been about. He asks less and less why his child died, and more often: “Why did he live?”
Who was that person? He had never heard of The Compassionate Friends. Now they are his best friends. And he knows that be helping someone else through TCF, he also helps himself.
Who was that person? I don’t think I know him anymore.
Rich and his wife Kitty are founding members of the South Bay/LA Chapter of The Compassionate Friends. Son Mark died in 1992 and Rich’s first book “If I Knew Then What I Know Now” is dedicated to him. His following book, “Into the Valley and Out Again” is the story of a father’s grief after the loss of his son and the changes in priorities and approaches to life that follow.” Rich served on TCF’s National Board of Directors for several years including as president of the board. He died in February of 2002. Kitty is the current president of TCF’s National Board of Directors.
©Rich Edler 2000 as originally printed in We Need Not Walk Alone. Reproduced here by permission of the family. Permission to reprint this article in TCF chapter newsletters or other bereavement publications granted by the family but must include the following attribution: ©Rich Edler 2000. Permission to reprint granted by the family and by We Need Not Walk Alone, the national magazine of The Compassionate Friends.
|Posted on July 13, 2015 at 2:05 PM||comments (0)|
We have had more than one teen die unexpectedly in our area recently. For the parents of those children and the many others who have lost a child, prayers and thoughts are with you this day.
|Posted on May 28, 2015 at 2:05 PM||comments (0)|
The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers by Gary Chapman [ISBN 978-0-8024-7313-4] has many strengths and a few weaknesses, [just like parents and teens!] I like the idea of tuning in to what resonates with kids as a way to form better connections. I am wholeheartedly in support of the first four as ways to connect with kids. Their love languages change over time and this book provides options to consider when the tried and true ceases to be effective.
Chapman lists 5 ways to connect with teens: Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Quality Time, Acts of Service and Gifts.The last one [gifts] is more problematic. In today's society, it is easy to fall into the trap of giving material things as a way to connect with others. Non-custodial parents, busy working parents, parents who are at a loss about how to connect with their kids may easily fall into this trap. A special personal item here or there is a great idea, particularly if you know the recipient is likely to value it. Don't give Aunt Minnie's ruby ring to your daughter who hates to wear jewelry [and never really liked Aunt Minnie anyway] and then feel offended if she doesn't wear it.
The guidelines for determining consequences are simple and easy to understand. However, I find that some teens are smart enough to make the first guideline a problem. "Consequences should be determined before a violation," may not always be the best plan. Many kids I've worked with have said they weighed the known consequence against the potential pleasure of violating the rules and decided to "go for it." Sometimes the angst of the unknown consequence is a helpful deterrent.
There are good, easy to read, chapters on single parenting and other issues that parents of teens face. Well worth your time!
|Posted on October 8, 2013 at 2:05 PM||comments (0)|
I had the unique opportunity to see Dr.Ron Siegel speak in Dallas a couple of years ago. His book is written with the same humor and down to earth practicality presented in his workshop.
Rather than expecting people to sit quietly and meditate, Dr. Siegel's book gives active, engaging exercises to help people understand and experience mindfullness. The practice of being present in the moment is helpful in a multitude of arenas: work, parenting, relationships, spiritual growth and stress management.
Here is a link to his webpage, where you can read more about the book and its author.
Dr. Ron Siegel: The Mindfulness Solution
|Posted on April 30, 2013 at 2:10 PM||comments (0)|
Sharon Ward, MS, LPC, NCC:
Welcome, I hope to use this blog for ideas, quotes and comments that I have found helpful and hope will be helpful for you as you navigate life's journey.
I have had reason to consider the difference between Happiness and Contentment this week. Happiness was described to me as something that is temporary and usually the result of some experience outside the self [watching a child play, winning the lottery, getting a gift etc]. Contentment surpasses Happiness. Contentment is a peace that comes from knowing your core beliefs and standards will withstand what ever storms you may encounter along the path. I like this definition. It allows us to be content, even in the middle of things that are difficult such as loss, pain and transition.
Wishing you Contentment this week~